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Monogatari OMS EP01 - Aniplex vs. MTBB

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# Aniplex

# MTBB

Observation report of Shideno-bird known as Tsukihi Araragi, number 2761.

Observation report of the Dying Bird known as Araragi Tsukihi, number 2761.

Written by Yotsugi Ononoki.

Written by Ononoki Yotsugi.

Which is me. That's right, me.

Yeah! Peace, peace!

An eternal apparition, the temporary guise of the Shideno-bird in this world.

It has been roughly six months since I started observing Araragi Tsukihi,

It has been roughly six months since I started observing Tsukihi Araragi.

the temporary guise of the immortal oddity "Dying Bird" in this world.

She moves on instinct, thrashes about as she pleases based on the general vibe,

and is dead set on not doing things she doesn't like.

She seems to live on a creature's instincts, much like a creature itself.

She seems to live by natural instincts, as any natural creature would.

Although she is an apparition.

Except no oddity is natural.

Looking back, whenever something happened in this town,

Tsukihi Araragi was involved basically every single time.

Araragi Tsukihi was involved basically every single time.

She is always at the center of the maelstrom.

She is always in the center of the vortex of chaos.

The Shideno-bird is dancing at the center of the flame.

The Dying Bird is dancing at the center of the vortex of flames.

Of course you will see distortion if an immortal apparition is close to the nucleus.

If an immortal oddity finds itself around the seed of trouble, you can expect it to act as an accelerant.

To observe the phoenix that is the Shideno-bird...

What does it take to observe the phoenix that is the Dying Bird?

You can't flinch. You can't show mercy.

You can't be mesmerized.

And obviously...

And obviously,

it can only be observed by an abominable,

you have to be an abominable, heartless monster

heartless monster that can annihilate its brilliant flight.

that can terminate its brilliant flight.

Devilish Big Brother, abbreviated as Devil Boy.

Devil Boy, or perhaps Devil Brother.

He has Lolita complex, so he's kind to me.

He has a thing for little girls, so he's kind to me.

Even today. This morning, he secretly provided me a cup of ice cream as I worked.

This morning, he sneaked me a cup of ice cream as I worked.

He seems to have a misunderstanding.

If you ask me if I have an appetite, I probably don't.

If you ask me if I have an appetite, my answer is "probably not."

But pretending to be human, such as by eating then sleeping,

But pretending to be human— by eating then sleeping, for example—

is very important for humanoid apparitions like myself.

is very important for humanoid oddities like myself.

If I don't pretend to be human...

If I don't pretend to be human,

I lose this humanoid form.

By the way, I've been living in the Araragi residence since this past February.

By the way, I moved in with the Araragis this February.

At the time, Tsukihi Araragi

At the time, Araragi Tsukihi shared a room with Araragi Karen, her sister one year her senior.

shared a room with Karen Araragi, her sister one year her senior.

But in April, when Araragi Karen advanced to high school, she got her own room.

But in April, when Karen Araragi advanced to high school, she got her own room.

I just wasn't feeling it, so I made a U-turn while heading to school and came back home, and...

I just didn't feel like it, so I made a U-turn while heading to school and came back home, and...

My plushie is eating ice cream?!

My plushie is eating ice cream!?

It's okay. You were imagining it.

Okay, just consider it a visual misperception.

No can do. You can't pretend to be a doll after all that.

You were totally moving. You were licking the lid of the ice cream cup.

You were totally moving. You were licking the lid of the ice cream.

You were enjoying it. There's ice cream on your cheek.

The cup of ice cream is scattered here.

The cup of ice cream is dropped right there.

You're still holding a spoon.

Also, don't toss ice cream onto the bed.

There's cream plastered all over the comforter now.

There's cream plastered all over the covers now.

M-Maybe the doll was given a soul after Big Brother poured so much affection into it?

M-Maybe the doll was given a soul after Bro poured so much affection into it?

Like Pinocchio?

Come on, respond to me.

It's totally obvious. How long are you going to pretend to be a plushie!?

It's totally obvious. How long are you going to pretend to be a plushie?

Hiding your identity and secretly freeloading within a family is simply the worst!

Hiding your identity and secretly freeloading within a family

And that's what you're doing.

is simply the worst!

And that's exactly what you're doing.

I can kill off someone like this anytime I want.

However, that "anytime" is not now. More like I'm in deep trouble.

However, that "anytime" is not now. More like, it's time to panic.

The fact that Tsukihi Araragi saw through my true identity

The fact that Araragi Tsukihi saw through my true identity

means that I was not able to do a good job as a professional.

It was not my job to dispose of the Shideno-bird,

I wouldn't be disposing of the bird as part of my job.

but obliterating my observation target so I can keep my failure concealed.

Rather, I'd be eliminating the observation target just to hide my own failure,

But that would be doing something that's unworthy of a professional.

which would be unacceptable as a pro.

Ig-Ig-Ignite!

Tick-tack-boom!

Ten...

Nine...

Eight...

Seven...

Six...

Five...

Four...

Three...

Two...

Hot!

I-I knew it! My plushie really did move!

My eyes weren't seeing things!

I wasn't just imagining it!

What is this? It's super scary!

Oh, so scary!

Oh, so scary! Scary, scary!

Everyone together... Ready?

Scary!

You're even scarier.

What? Then, Ononoki, you're a magical girl of justice

What?! So, Ononoki,

who came to this world from another dimension to defeat a monster,

you're a magical girl of justice who came to this world from another dimension to defeat monsters?

so you turned your existence into just a soul to pass through the dimensional wall

So you reduced yourself into just a soul to pass between dimensions,

and you needed an object to place your soul into,

and that's why you possessed my doll!?

and that's why you possessed my doll?!

A-And? What kind of monster did you come to defeat?

Um, I can't really summarize it in one sentence.

Um, I can't really boil it down.

That's fine. If you can't say it in one sentence, say it in a hundred sentences!

That's fine. You don't have to boil it down. We have all day!

For the first time in my life, I, Tsukihi, will listen to someone's story seriously!

It's like a subconscious malice that involves everyone around it.

It's an evil hiding in the subconscious that entangles people around it.

That monster simply existing will draw disaster towards it.

That monster will draw disaster towards it by virtue of its mere existence.

Before this town gets embroiled in disaster, I have to settle the score with it.

There are some bad guys out there.

That sounds terrible.

Then, I'll head out to battle now.

I'm heading out to battle, then.

Rest assured.

When my mission is complete,

my soul will automatically be summoned back to my original dimension.

This corpse...

This corpse—

I mean, this doll will be returned to your room where it originally was.

I mean, this doll will be returned to your room as good as new.

Well then, please pray for my victory.

For this world and for all the people you love.

Unlimited...

Hold on just a second!

Hold on a second!

Wh-What is it, Tsukihi?

After hearing a tale like that, did you think I, Tsukihi, would just stay quiet about it?

Did you seriously think I could stay put after hearing a story like that?

If there's a horrible monster like that in this world, there's no way I'd leave it be!

I'll help you defeat this monster!

Huh?

Let's fight together!

Huh?

What?

Negative.

I cannot trouble the residents of this world.

This is a job that I need to do on my own.

This is a job that I need to do alone.

Don't say that you're alone!

This is about my own world, so I have to protect it!

It must be fate that you possessed my doll.

You don't have to be so modest with me, Ononoki!

Don't you worry about me, Ononoki!

It's too late! I'm already in the mood for this!

Even if you say you don't want to, I'll help you out like it was out of spite!

Even if you say you don't want me to, I'll still help you out like it was out of spite!

I'll show you that this world also has heroes of justice!

And of course, I am justice itself!

Though of course, I'm justice itself!

And then, Tsukihi Araragi headed to school once again.

And then, Araragi Tsukihi headed to school once again.

More like, I egged her on to go.

One minute later, I was in Nadeko Sengoku's room in the Sengoku residence.

One minute later, I was in Sengoku Nadeko's room in the Sengoku residence.

I came to this world from another dimension to defeat monsters.

I am a magical girl of justice.

And so, if you don't want to be killed off, cooperate with me, Nadeko Sengoku.

And so, if you don't want to be killed like a dog, cooperate with me, Sengoku Nadeko.

N-No, you definitely aren't a magical girl or anything, right?

N-No, you're definitely not a magical girl or anything, right?

You're some kind of apparition, aren't you?

You're some kind of oddity, aren't you?

A-Are you an oil monster or something?

Y-You declared yourself as one of justice...

Y-You said "of justice" just now...

So do you have something to do with Tsukihi?

Do you have something to do with Tsukihi?

Mhm.

Oh.

That's so like Tsukihi.

All right, I get it. I'll help you out.

I mean, it's to help Tsukihi out.

Though we're both in the "human turned into apparition" league,

We're both in the "human turned into oddity" league.

for me, as I am now completely irreversibly an apparition,

But since I'm irreversibly an oddity now,

survivors such as Koyomi Araragi and Nadeko Sengoku are people I just want to support.

I can't help but want to support survivors such as Araragi Koyomi and Sengoku Nadeko.

Though I'll kill them when I have to.

But what should I be doing?

I'm not a snake god anymore, you know.

But there's something I can do to help Tsukihi?

Is there something I can do to help Tsukihi?

Besides, I hardly ever leave the house lately.

Also, I've been staying inside most of the time lately,

If I stay outside for too long, I might be done for from the sunlight.

so I don't know how long I'd last in the hot sun outside.

Perhaps you should start going to school again soon?

You don't need to worry. Nobody's really concerned about you.

Yeah.

The class, too. Nowadays, it seems to be pretty coherent now.

I heard that recently my old classmates are getting along all right, too.

I heard from Tsukihi.

Tsukihi told me.

Tsukihi Araragi had been investigating about that as well?

Araragi Tsukihi had been investigating that as well?

It seems a bit difficult to investigate internal affairs of a different school.

But, you know...

There's something I want to do right now.

Now I have things I want to do.

I think this is what I need to do right now.

I think this is what I need right now.

Did this girl grow taller?

Did she grow taller?

Oh, right. A growth spurt.

Because she's alive, she grows. I see.

Because she's alive, she grows. Makes sense.

If this life as a shut-in is letting Nadeko Sengoku grow in a healthy manner instead,

If this life as a shut-in is letting Sengoku Nadeko grow in a healthy manner,

then that is quite an irony in itself.

that, while quite an irony in itself,

Then, there really is no need to force herself to go to school.

would mean there really is no need to force her to go back to school.

It's not worth commuting if you're making yourself feel uncomfortable.

It's not worth it if all she gets there is unpleasant memories.

Of course, helping Tsukihi out is one of the things I want to do.

So what should I do?

Oh, yeah. Indeed, the snake god doesn't reside within you anymore.

Oh, yeah.

But a different apparition still resides within you, right?

Indeed, you're no longer the vessel of the snake god.

But a different oddity still resides within you, right?

Is that so?

She's oblivious. That means, Big Brother Kaiki did quite a good job.

She's oblivious. That means Brother Kaiki did quite a good job.

Nothing less from a con artist.

A slug.

Huh?

A Slug Tofu.

It's the apparition Deishu Kaiki used to exorcise the snake god from within you.

It's the oddity Kaiki Deishuu used to exorcise the snake god from within you.

I'll put it to use once again.

Please give me the residual image of that apparition.

Give me the residue of that oddity.

I'll pretend that the slug is the monster,

I'll pretend that the slug is the monster

and defeat it right in front of Tsukihi Araragi's eyes.

and defeat it right in front of Araragi Tsukihi's eyes.

That should be it as the actor.

That should fulfill my duties as an actor.

G-Got it.

I-I see. So Mr. Kaiki...

I-I see. So Kaiki did that...

Is he doing well?

Is he... in good health?

He's doing well.

Healthy as a horse.

To this date, I have never seen that unhealthy, unlucky man doing well.

To this day, I have never seen that sickly, unlucky man look healthy.

If anything, he's likely doing well with cash.

If anything, he's more interested in being wealthy.

How will you pull it out?

How will you extract it?

If I recall, things like that...

Would that, you know,

requires something like a ritual, right?

require something like a ritual?

Should I change into a school-issued swimsuit, then?

I'll omit procedures of that nature.

We don't really have that much time.

Y-You can omit them?

I'm different from Big Brother Oshino.

I'm not like Brother Oshino.

I'm not too particular about the arrangements.

I'm not too particular about the "how."

I'm down to earth. The type who focuses only on the results.

That said, I do need the minimum amount of procedures.

That said, there are some things that have to be done.

So you... Can you draw me a quick picture here?

So can you draw me a quick picture here?

A picture?

You're good at drawing pictures, right?

So, I'd like you to draw a picture of a slug right here.

In that case, I'd like you to draw a picture of a slug right here.

A slug is all slippery, so it'd be easy, right?

A slug is simple and sleek, so it'd be easy, right?

N-No, it's pretty hard, you know?

It's difficult because it's all slippery.

It's difficult because it's simple and sleek.

Besides, why do I have to draw manga right now with a slug as the protagonist?

That's just too innovative.

That's a bit too avant-garde.

You don't have to draw the manga. I just need the character design.

You don't have to draw a whole manga. I just need the character sheet.

Character design...

A character sheet...

If you can't, I can draw it myself.

But it's more effective if you, the target, drew it yourself.

But it'd be more effective if you, the object, drew it.

That's the procedure we'll use to take the Slug Tofu left within your body

and reproduce it over on this manga manuscript paper.

and copy it over on this manga manuscript paper.

Kind of like how the snake god apparition was sealed away into a paper talisman?

Kind of like how the snake god oddity was sealed away into a paper talisman?

Something like that, I guess.

The basic history concerning that god is kind of a taboo.

The exact details concerning that god are kind of a taboo.

Explaining it would be rather complicated.

Explaining them would be rather complicated.

All right. Then, Ononoki, please wait a little bit.

All right. Then please wait a little bit, Ononoki.

I'll draw it right away.

She's going to start with a rough sketch?

You don't have to worry about the quality.

It's fine if you just give me a quick sketch.

You're using a dip pen with spoon nib and stuff, and acting like a pretty skilled manga artist.

You're using a dip pen and all like a proper manga artist.

Did you apply for a publisher award or something already?

Have you already tried entering competitions?

I've tried submitting to a publisher before.

But for now, it hasn't produced any results.

But I haven't had any luck for now.

I've also published anonymously to an internet community, too.

I've also published anonymously to an online community, too.

But the reception wasn't very good.

But the reception wasn't all that great.

I see. So you own a computer.

Oh, I don't.

Nowadays, you can use game consoles to access the internet, too.

But if I want to fully digitize my work, it's quite an ordeal.

Well, it just means that the world isn't that easy of a place to live in.

Yup, that's true.

Wait, you're going to apply screentone as well!?

Wait, you're going to apply screentone as well?

You know...

I'm very glad that this world is not such an easy place to live in.

The sweet girl who was indulged, even candied, made that statement.

Said the girl who had been thoroughly treated with kindness, like a candy apple dipped in caramel.

For the showdown between a magical girl of justice and a slug monster,

For the showdown between a magical girl of justice and the slug monster,

I chose the park that everyone is familiar with.

It's nothing special.

It was nothing special.

I just didn't know any other suitable location.

I just didn't know any more suitable location.

Ononoki! I'm fully ready to support you!

I'll protect myself, so don't worry about me,

and fight as freely as you want to!

I want to protect myself against you, though.

This incident happened because of my careless mistake.

This whole mess started because of my careless mistake.

But honestly, I'm starting to feel that I don't want to get too involved with this girl.

Did you bring what I asked you to bring?

I did, from our kitchen!

We had some extra stock, so I have two. One for me and one for you, Ononoki.

We had some extra stock, so I have two. One for me and one for you.

But, what in the world are we going to use salt for?

But what in the world are we going to use salt for?

According to my investigation, the monster is lurking somewhere in this park.

But the monster will react to salt, so can you sprinkle some on conspicuous locations?

I mean, it is a slug after all.

I mean, it's a slug, after all.

It will react to salt.

Anyway, I'll make my rounds starting from over at the swings.

As for you...

try it out from around the sandbox.

Try it out from around the sandbox.

Gotcha!

To sprinkle salt onto a sandbox... I kind of feel like a sumo wrestler!

So the reason why I sent Tsukihi Araragi towards the sandbox is because

So the reason why I sent Araragi Tsukihi towards the sandbox is because

I had buried the slug illustration Nadeko Sengoku drew in that sandbox during the afternoon.

I had buried Sengoku Nadeko's slug illustration in that sandbox during the afternoon.

We're speeding up the plot development a bit,

but I need her to quickly find the "monster from another dimension."

Naturally, I don't intend on having an amateur participate in defeating an apparition.

Naturally, I don't intend on having an amateur participate in defeating an oddity.

But if she witnesses a monster appear from the sand because of the sand she sprinkled,

But if she witnesses a monster appear from the sand because of the salt she sprinkled,

that alone should be enough to "feel like she is participating."

that alone should be enough to feel like she is participating.

And then I just need to blow away the Slug Tofu before Tsukihi Araragi

And then I just need to blow away the Slug Tofu before Araragi Tsukihi does something unnecessary.

does something unnecessary.

Afterwards, the soul of the magical girl of justice will return to the alternate dimension,

and Tsukihi Araragi will be left with one silent plushie that she already had to begin with.

and Araragi Tsukihi will be left with one silent plushie that she already had to begin with.

This is a pretty good story for being an impromptu one.

This is a pretty good story for being spur-of-the-moment.

This is the moment when I unexpectedly and finally realized the meaning

behind the words Nadeko Sengoku had mentioned.

behind Sengoku Nadeko's earlier words.

I'm very glad that this world is not such an easy place.

I'm very glad that this world is not such an easy place to live in.

At the root of that statement is, that's right...

I'd say that the root of that statement

It's the purpose of life, so to say.

is the purpose of one's life, so to speak.

An entitled life where everything goes your way

would make you lose sight of whether you're alive or simply dreaming.

No matter how fortunate your life is,

living with complaints and harboring discontent or uneasiness

living with complaints and harboring discontent or unease

is not because you're very avaricious,

is not because you're particularly avaricious,

but simply because you don't have a solid sense of your purpose in life

but simply because you don't have a solid sense of your purpose in life without such discontent or unease.

without such discontent or uneasiness.

That's why you seek a purpose in life.

You seek a suitable difficulty for your life.

Well, I say all that so convincingly, but as someone who has long since died,

Well, I say all that so convincingly, but as someone who is long dead,

it's a feeling that I can't comprehend at all.

I trace over all the words, but it doesn't strike a chord in my heart at all.

I don't even have a heart.

Though she's completely unaware,

she is an immortal monster, an eternal phoenix.

It transfers from person to person, takes on the person from the person,

and likely nestles up to humanity until humanity perishes.

and will likely nestle up to humanity until humanity perishes.

It's the one and only apparition that has such timelessness.

It's the one and only oddity that has such timelessness.

A phoenix.

I do have a time when I lived as a human, though I don't have any memories of it.

So I have a solid sense of what it means to die and what it means to live.

I know that life is fleeting, and there is nothing in death.

Devilish Big Brother and ex-Kiss-shot both know the difference between life and death.

Devil Boy and the former Kiss-shot both know the difference between life and death.

But what about the phoenix?

I don't want an eternal life.

Even if it was limited, I want to fulfill my life as a human.

Even if it was fleeting, I'd still want to live my life to the fullest.

Well, that's heroic narcissism,

but how do such lines resonate with those who have eternal life?

How brutally... How insultingly would it resonate?

Un...

limited...

limited

Rulebook.

Thank you. Thanks to you, I was able to defeat the monster.

Ononoki! Behind you!

Tsukihi Araragi's true form is a Shideno-bird,

Araragi Tsukihi's true form is a Dying Bird,

so bathing in the slug's flames won't really kill her.

so bathing in the slug's flames won't ever kill her.

But it's not a good thing for her to know her true identity.

I am a corpse, so I'm really weak against fire.

On top of that, my entire body was showered with vegetable oil.

O-Ononoki!

Simply put, you can interpret this as Nadeko Sengoku wanting to add some depth,

Did Sengoku Nadeko cause this by engraving a fire pattern

and thus applying screentone to the slug then engraving a fire pattern onto it.

when she applied screentone to add some depth?

Why is her technique so unnecessarily skilled?

Why is she so unnecessarily skilled?

Speaking of slug and fire, a means to exterminate it besides sprinkling salt

Or another possible connotation of slugs and fire is that a way to kill them

is scorching it with things like incense.

is scorching them with things like incense rather than using salt.

That's been around since old times.

That's an old, tried and tested method.

Or perhaps the "tofu" is the key, so you have grilled tofu or boiled tofu.

Or perhaps the "tofu" is the key. You can have grilled tofu or boiled tofu.

In that case, this was the worst compatible apparition for me.

In that case, this is the worst possible oddity for me to deal with.

Physical attacks are meaningless,

and unleashes flames from all over its body.

and it unleashes flames from all over its body.

You can even say this was an apparition born none other than defeating an apparition like me.

You can even say this was an oddity born with the sole purpose of defeating an oddity like me.

Thinking how the origin was Kaiki's artificial apparition,

Considering how it used to be one of Kaiki's fake oddities,

that indeed could be the case.

Nothing strange is going on, but these inconveniences, this miserable condition...

Nothing outright strange happened, but these inconveniences, this miserable condition...

Is this what it means to get involved with Tsukihi Araragi?

Is this what it means to get involved with Araragi Tsukihi?

But I can't just throw in the towel right now.

My own mismanagement has to be managed by none other than me.

If I'm facing a slug, no matter how gigantic, salt should be effective.

Big Sister would despise such cunning methods.

My sister would despise such cunning methods.

But my strength is being able to choose the best, optimal method on the fly in times like this.

Look out, Ononoki!

Without thinking of consequences, she went out of control as usual.

Without thinking of the consequences, she went out of control as usual.

It's just like Koyomi Araragi.

It's just like Araragi Koyomi.

Every action Tsukihi Araragi made thinking it was for the best...

Every action Araragi Tsukihi made thinking it was for the best...

Every single one had perfectly backfired.

Rather than a bringer of misfortune,

Tsukihi Araragi herself is like clear-air turbulence?

perhaps Araragi Tsukihi herself is like clear-air turbulence?

No, save observations for later.

It's out of hand.

This has gotten out of hand.

I simply can't snap.

My finger can't solve this.

Oh well.

No way to snap out, but oh well.

No way to snap out of it, but oh well.

I made a pragmatic conclusion.

Here's my pragmatic conclusion:

Even in a situation like this, even if stomped into smithereens, Tsukihi Araragi won't die.

Even in a situation like this, even if stomped into smithereens, Araragi Tsukihi won't die.

Even if fragmented to cause a dust explosion and there's nothing left of her, she won't die.

Even if so fragmented to cause a dust explosion and there's nothing left of her, she won't die.

Because there is no death, she won't die.

She will quietly revive from within the flames.

I didn't have to lose my observation target due to my own mistake.

I won't lose my observation target due to my own mistake.

That was the least I could do for risk management as a professional.

That's the least I can do for risk management as a professional.

The Slug Tofu running out of control will someday be dealt with

The Slug Tofu running out of control will someday be dealt with by Gaen,

by Ms. Gaen who sensed my incineration.

who will have sensed my incineration.

As a corpse, I won't cause any more trouble in the future.

I have fulfilled my baseline duties as a spy.

That's what I concluded and cleanly gave up.

However, this is nothing more than a calm conclusion, and not my own feelings.

My goodness, if I could laugh, it would be a sneer.

Even a corpse that has died long in the past doesn't want to die,

Why would a corpse that has already died long ago feel it doesn't want to die

and can feel scared in a way.

or feel so very scared?

This isn't like you, Ononoki.

Big Sister Mayoi.

Sister Mayoi.

Challenge the three-dimensional version all you want, but it's not the main body.

What you need to go after...

What you need to go after

is a flat surface.

You're right. Even if it materializes and gigantifies, it all started with a piece of paper.

That's right. Even if it materializes and gigantifies, it all started with a piece of paper.

The fabricated setting that a magical girl of justice was defeating a monster...

I was actually the one trapped in it.

It seems you wanted to conduct everything in secret.

But too bad.

I am a god residing over this town.

I am the god presiding over this town.

I am always watching over it, from one corner to the other.

I am always watching over it, every single nook and cranny.

I also thought I shouldn't get in the way of a professional's work,

I did think that I shouldn't get in the way of a professional's work,

but I couldn't overlook the crisis befalling this town, and the crisis of my friend.

And so, even just a little bit, I came to be of assistance.

In other words...

I'm sorry. I got involved.

I'm sorry. I took a bit of the fun.

Big Sister Mayoi promised that she won't talk about this incident to Devil Boy,

Sister Mayoi promised that she wouldn't talk about this incident to Devil Boy

and headed back to the mountain.

She also packed the folded up manuscript paper into her backpack.

She also packed the folded up paper into her backpack.

As a snail god, I guess a slug is something like kin.

As a snail god, I guess a slug is something like kin to her.

Since I've had nothing but failures throughout this whole thing,

I've had nothing but failures throughout this whole thing.

I shouldn't nitpick this and that because of a personal grudge.

I shouldn't nitpick her actions because of a personal grudge.

I analyzed it all later, but a simple failure on my part

Looking back, no matter how you slice it,

would never have evolved into a situation of this caliber.

a simple failure on my part should never have evolved into a situation of this caliber.

The more I tried to follow up, the worse the situation got.

The more I tried to patch things up, the worse the situation got.

And when I think about it,

And when I thought about it,

the instant Tsukihi Araragi's consciousness was trampled and wiped out,

the instant Araragi Tsukihi's consciousness was trampled and wiped out,

a helper appeared as if out of opportunism and the situation was simply resolved.

a helper appeared almost deus ex machina, and the situation was instantly resolved.

For a specialist, this incident alone is enough for the Shideno-bird to be designated as harmful,

For a specialist, this incident alone would be grounds to designate the Dying Bird as harmful,

and it wouldn't be a surprise

and it wouldn't be odd for a suppression and eradication squad to kick into motion.

for a squad for suppression and eradication to kick into motion.

It'd be the first one since Kiss-shot Acerola-orion Heart-under-blade in her prime.

A great manhunt target and a phoenix type.

This phoenix might be a jailbird soon.

PHOENIX TYPE (OOTORI-MONO)

However, I had a perfectly rational reason why I didn't report all this to Gaen.

However, I didn't report to Ms. Gaen as such because of a logical reason.

The new findings I had concerning the Dying Bird's case

The new findings I had from this case concerning the Shideno-bird

became the reason I was having second thoughts about the Dying Bird's much-anticipated exorcism.

became the reason I thought otherwise to the much-awaited defeat of the Shideno-bird.

For the moment, I took Araragi Tsukihi back to the Araragi household while she was asleep.

For now, I will take Tsukihi Araragi back to the Araragi household while she's asleep.

And as for me, I spent all night embalming the burns all over my body before I returned.

And as for me, I took all night to finish embalming the burns all over my body before I returned.

As I pretended to be a doll in the target's room as if nothing had happened,

it seemed that on the next day, Tsukihi Araragi had forgotten everything about yesterday.

the next day it became apparent that Araragi Tsukihi had forgotten everything from the previous 24 hours.

As she behaved as she always had, treating me like a life-sized plushie,

I was the one who got confused, thinking that everything from last night was just a dream.

However, the reason for her amnesia was simple.

Psychological stress. What you would call trauma.

Events of the past become aftereffects, engraving themselves deep into the personality's core.

Events of the past become aftereffects, engraved deep into the personality's core.

It makes living life difficult.

If that's the case, then, that wound must be healed.

That's right. The Shideno-bird. An eternal apparition.

That's right. The Dying Bird. An undying oddity.

Phoenix, of all things, can completely heal wounds of the heart.

The phoenix, of all things, can apparently completely heal wounds of the heart.

"Wounds" that would be inconvenient to have to keep living

"Wounds" that would make living inconvenient

are eradicated from the brain without a trace.

Such an outlier self-purification action is functioning overwhelmingly,

This outrageous self-purification process has successfully pushed all the nasty stuff out,

and Tsukihi Araragi lives today with vigor and spirit.

and Araragi Tsukihi lives today with vigor and spirit.

Vigor and spirit.

That's exactly why Tsukihi Araragi, no matter how much time passes, lacks the ability to learn

That's exactly why Araragi Tsukihi, no matter how much time passes, lacks the ability to learn

and is exhaustively repeating.

and keeps repeating her mistakes.

No matter how much time passes, she barely manages to fail,

No matter how much time passes, she always manages to fail,

and those failures are deposed only to those around her.

and those failures are dispensed only to those around her.

They are deposed, they are accumulated...

They are dispensed, they are accumulated...

And that becomes the new kindling.

And that becomes the new kindling

A blazing phoenix.

for a blazing phoenix.

And the core of the flame in question wipes her slate clean of the series of failures,

and flies off from the burnt field without fouling the area around her,

flies off from the burnt field without fouling the area around her,

and lives an eternal life from the beginning.

Terrifying.

It's terrifying, but also intriguing.

It's terrifying, and also intriguing.

It's intriguing but also significant.

It's intriguing, and also significant.

There is enough academic merit

There is enough academic merit to give meaning to continued behavioral observation for a while longer.

to give meaning to continue behavioral observation for a while longer.

Incidentally, she forgot all about my failures as well.

I'll accept that as a stroke of luck.

So I decided to hold off from reporting this case to my superiors.

Finally, its inevitable life cycle has come into the light, if only a little bit.

Finally, its unstoppable life cycle had come into the light, if only a little bit.

I shall continue my probational observation of the national treasure.

I resolved to continue my observation of this unique specimen.

And so, to ensure that I do not make the same blunder again in the future,

And so, to ensure that I did not make the same blunder again in the future,

I decided to consume my stock of ice cream that the lolicon gave me sooner than later.

I decided to consume my stock of ice cream—the fruit of a certain someone's love for little girls—sooner than later.

I just didn't feel like it, so I made a U-turn while heading to school and came back home, and...

I just wasn't feeling it, so I made a U-turn while heading to school and came back home, and...

My plushie is eating ice cream!?

My plushie is eating ice cream?!

The magical girl of justice, part two.

Quite lacking the ability to learn.

Lacks the ability to learn.

Exhaustively repeating.

Keeps repeating her mistakes.

It's fine. Next time, I won't fail, even in death.

UNHAPPY? A troubled human child

UNLUCKY? For the inhumane

BE HAPPY! Aim timelessly

Because you're alive

A past that you looked away from too

The past you tried to forget

A boring future too

And that boring future too

Counseling

Oh man

All the times and places

Anytime anywhere, peace, peace

Peace, peace

UNHAPPY?

UNLUCKY?

BE HAPPY!

UNDEAD

Hey, why

Hey, hey,

Do I somehow feel like I'm fighting?

Why do I somehow feel like I'm fighting?

I can't touch and don't want to touch

I can't reach I don't even want to reach

Myself, myself, myself, and myself from the past

I've been dead for a long time now

I fight with a transparent ghost

Deep in a childish and painful memory

Disappointed? It's gone

Oh? You like that better? That's ironic

Am I, as I am now, what's transparent?

Nonsense

A label that doesn't disappear

Yes! It's basically a complex

You seem to be possessed

The old me

That's wrapped up and

Won't leave

UNDEAD

I'm not dead yet

A chain of you and you

To be alive is to keep changing

Don't be satisfied

With unhappiness

You're a coward if you don't try to be happy

This world and this world are

A strange, strange fantasy

Will a demon appear next or will a snake?

The story finally begins after meeting

Is it a human or monster?

Returning to the subject at hand

Whoops I digress, peace, peace

Peace, peace

Saved diffs

Original text

Open file

# Aniplex

Observation report of Shideno-bird known as Tsukihi Araragi, number 2761.
Written by Yotsugi Ononoki.
Which is me. That's right, me.
Yeah! Peace, peace!
An eternal apparition, the temporary guise of the Shideno-bird in this world.
It has been roughly six months since I started observing Tsukihi Araragi.
She moves on instinct, thrashes about as she pleases based on the general vibe,
and is dead set on not doing things she doesn't like.
She seems to live on a creature's instincts, much like a creature itself.
Although she is an apparition.
Looking back, whenever something happened in this town,
Tsukihi Araragi was involved basically every single time.
She is always at the center of the maelstrom.
The Shideno-bird is dancing at the center of the flame.
Of course you will see distortion if an immortal apparition is close to the nucleus.
To observe the phoenix that is the Shideno-bird...
You can't flinch. You can't show mercy.
You can't be mesmerized.
And obviously...
it can only be observed by an abominable,
heartless monster that can annihilate its brilliant flight.
Devilish Big Brother, abbreviated as Devil Boy.
He has Lolita complex, so he's kind to me.
Even today. This morning, he secretly provided me a cup of ice cream as I worked.
He seems to have a misunderstanding.
If you ask me if I have an appetite, I probably don't.
But pretending to be human, such as by eating then sleeping,
is very important for humanoid apparitions like myself.
If I don't pretend to be human...
I lose this humanoid form.
By the way, I've been living in the Araragi residence since this past February.
At the time, Tsukihi Araragi
shared a room with Karen Araragi, her sister one year her senior.
But in April, when Karen Araragi advanced to high school, she got her own room.
I just didn't feel like it, so I made a U-turn while heading to school and came back home, and...
My plushie is eating ice cream!?
Okay, just consider it a visual misperception.
No can do. You can't pretend to be a doll after all that.
You were totally moving. You were licking the lid of the ice cream cup.
You were enjoying it. There's ice cream on your cheek.
The cup of ice cream is scattered here.
You're still holding a spoon.
Also, don't toss ice cream onto the bed.
There's cream plastered all over the comforter now.
M-Maybe the doll was given a soul after Big Brother poured so much affection into it?
Like Pinocchio?
Come on, respond to me.
It's totally obvious. How long are you going to pretend to be a plushie!?
Hiding your identity and secretly freeloading within a family is simply the worst!
And that's what you're doing.
I can kill off someone like this anytime I want.
However, that "anytime" is not now. More like I'm in deep trouble.
The fact that Tsukihi Araragi saw through my true identity
means that I was not able to do a good job as a professional.
It was not my job to dispose of the Shideno-bird,
but obliterating my observation target so I can keep my failure concealed.
But that would be doing something that's unworthy of a professional.
Ig-Ig-Ignite!
Ten...
Nine...
Eight...
Seven...
Six...
Five...
Four...
Three...
Two...
Hot!
I-I knew it! My plushie really did move!
My eyes weren't seeing things!
What is this? It's super scary!
Oh, so scary!
Everyone together... Ready?
Scary!
You're even scarier.
What? Then, Ononoki, you're a magical girl of justice
who came to this world from another dimension to defeat a monster,
so you turned your existence into just a soul to pass through the dimensional wall
and you needed an object to place your soul into,
and that's why you possessed my doll!?
A-And? What kind of monster did you come to defeat?
Um, I can't really summarize it in one sentence.
That's fine. If you can't say it in one sentence, say it in a hundred sentences!
For the first time in my life, I, Tsukihi, will listen to someone's story seriously!
It's like a subconscious malice that involves everyone around it.
That monster simply existing will draw disaster towards it.
Before this town gets embroiled in disaster, I have to settle the score with it.
There are some bad guys out there.
Then, I'll head out to battle now.
Rest assured.
When my mission is complete,
my soul will automatically be summoned back to my original dimension.
This corpse...
I mean, this doll will be returned to your room where it originally was.
Well then, please pray for my victory.
For this world and for all the people you love.
Unlimited...
Hold on just a second!
Wh-What is it, Tsukihi?
After hearing a tale like that, did you think I, Tsukihi, would just stay quiet about it?
If there's a horrible monster like that in this world, there's no way I'd leave it be!
I'll help you defeat this monster!
Huh?
Let's fight together!
Huh?
What?
Negative.
I cannot trouble the residents of this world.
This is a job that I need to do on my own.
Don't say that you're alone!
This is about my own world, so I have to protect it!
It must be fate that you possessed my doll.
You don't have to be so modest with me, Ononoki!
It's too late! I'm already in the mood for this!
Even if you say you don't want to, I'll help you out like it was out of spite!
I'll show you that this world also has heroes of justice!
And of course, I am justice itself!
And then, Tsukihi Araragi headed to school once again.
More like, I egged her on to go.
One minute later, I was in Nadeko Sengoku's room in the Sengoku residence.
I came to this world from another dimension to defeat monsters.
I am a magical girl of justice.
And so, if you don't want to be killed off, cooperate with me, Nadeko Sengoku.
N-No, you definitely aren't a magical girl or anything, right?
You're some kind of apparition, aren't you?
A-Are you an oil monster or something?
Y-You declared yourself as one of justice...
So do you have something to do with Tsukihi?
Oh.
That's so like Tsukihi.
All right, I get it. I'll help you out.
I mean, it's to help Tsukihi out.
Though we're both in the "human turned into apparition" league,
for me, as I am now completely irreversibly an apparition,
survivors such as Koyomi Araragi and Nadeko Sengoku are people I just want to support.
Though I'll kill them when I have to.
But what should I be doing?
I'm not a snake god anymore, you know.
But there's something I can do to help Tsukihi?
Besides, I hardly ever leave the house lately.
If I stay outside for too long, I might be done for from the sunlight.
Perhaps you should start going to school again soon?
You don't need to worry. Nobody's really concerned about you.
Yeah.
The class, too. Nowadays, it seems to be pretty coherent now.
I heard from Tsukihi.
Tsukihi Araragi had been investigating about that as well?
It seems a bit difficult to investigate internal affairs of a different school.
But, you know...
There's something I want to do right now.
I think this is what I need to do right now.
Did this girl grow taller?
Oh, right. A growth spurt.
Because she's alive, she grows. I see.
If this life as a shut-in is letting Nadeko Sengoku grow in a healthy manner instead,
then that is quite an irony in itself.
Then, there really is no need to force herself to go to school.
It's not worth commuting if you're making yourself feel uncomfortable.
Of course, helping Tsukihi out is one of the things I want to do.
So what should I do?
Oh, yeah. Indeed, the snake god doesn't reside within you anymore.
But a different apparition still resides within you, right?
Is that so?
She's oblivious. That means, Big Brother Kaiki did quite a good job.
Nothing less from a con artist.
A slug.
Huh?
A Slug Tofu.
It's the apparition Deishu Kaiki used to exorcise the snake god from within you.
I'll put it to use once again.
Please give me the residual image of that apparition.
I'll pretend that the slug is the monster,
and defeat it right in front of Tsukihi Araragi's eyes.
That should be it as the actor.
G-Got it.
I-I see. So Mr. Kaiki...
Is he doing well?
He's doing well.
To this date, I have never seen that unhealthy, unlucky man doing well.
If anything, he's likely doing well with cash.
How will you pull it out?
If I recall, things like that...
requires something like a ritual, right?
Should I change into a school-issued swimsuit, then?
I'll omit procedures of that nature.
We don't really have that much time.
Y-You can omit them?
I'm different from Big Brother Oshino.
I'm not too particular about the arrangements.
I'm down to earth. The type who focuses only on the results.
That said, I do need the minimum amount of procedures.
So you... Can you draw me a quick picture here?
A picture?
You're good at drawing pictures, right?
So, I'd like you to draw a picture of a slug right here.
A slug is all slippery, so it'd be easy, right?
N-No, it's pretty hard, you know?
It's difficult because it's all slippery.
Besides, why do I have to draw manga right now with a slug as the protagonist?
That's just too innovative.
You don't have to draw the manga. I just need the character design.
Character design...
If you can't, I can draw it myself.
But it's more effective if you, the target, drew it yourself.
That's the procedure we'll use to take the Slug Tofu left within your body
and reproduce it over on this manga manuscript paper.
Kind of like how the snake god apparition was sealed away into a paper talisman?
Something like that, I guess.
The basic history concerning that god is kind of a taboo.
Explaining it would be rather complicated.
All right. Then, Ononoki, please wait a little bit.
I'll draw it right away.
She's going to start with a rough sketch?
You don't have to worry about the quality.
It's fine if you just give me a quick sketch.
You're using a dip pen with spoon nib and stuff, and acting like a pretty skilled manga artist.
Did you apply for a publisher award or something already?
I've tried submitting to a publisher before.
But for now, it hasn't produced any results.
I've also published anonymously to an internet community, too.
But the reception wasn't very good.
I see. So you own a computer.
Oh, I don't.
Nowadays, you can use game consoles to access the internet, too.
But if I want to fully digitize my work, it's quite an ordeal.
Well, it just means that the world isn't that easy of a place to live in.
Yup, that's true.
Wait, you're going to apply screentone as well!?
You know...
I'm very glad that this world is not such an easy place to live in.
The sweet girl who was indulged, even candied, made that statement.
For the showdown between a magical girl of justice and a slug monster,
I chose the park that everyone is familiar with.
It's nothing special.
I just didn't know any other suitable location.
Ononoki! I'm fully ready to support you!
I'll protect myself, so don't worry about me,
and fight as freely as you want to!
I want to protect myself against you, though.
This incident happened because of my careless mistake.
But honestly, I'm starting to feel that I don't want to get too involved with this girl.
Did you bring what I asked you to bring?
I did, from our kitchen!
We had some extra stock, so I have two. One for me and one for you, Ononoki.
But, what in the world are we going to use salt for?
According to my investigation, the monster is lurking somewhere in this park.
But the monster will react to salt, so can you sprinkle some on conspicuous locations?
I mean, it is a slug after all.
It will react to salt.
Anyway, I'll make my rounds starting from over at the swings.
As for you...
try it out from around the sandbox.
Gotcha!
To sprinkle salt onto a sandbox... I kind of feel like a sumo wrestler!
So the reason why I sent Tsukihi Araragi towards the sandbox is because
I had buried the slug illustration Nadeko Sengoku drew in that sandbox during the afternoon.
We're speeding up the plot development a bit,
but I need her to quickly find the "monster from another dimension."
Naturally, I don't intend on having an amateur participate in defeating an apparition.
But if she witnesses a monster appear from the sand because of the sand she sprinkled,
that alone should be enough to "feel like she is participating."
And then I just need to blow away the Slug Tofu before Tsukihi Araragi
does something unnecessary.
Afterwards, the soul of the magical girl of justice will return to the alternate dimension,
and Tsukihi Araragi will be left with one silent plushie that she already had to begin with.
This is a pretty good story for being an impromptu one.
This is the moment when I unexpectedly and finally realized the meaning
behind the words Nadeko Sengoku had mentioned.
I'm very glad that this world is not such an easy place.
At the root of that statement is, that's right...
It's the purpose of life, so to say.
An entitled life where everything goes your way
would make you lose sight of whether you're alive or simply dreaming.
No matter how fortunate your life is,
living with complaints and harboring discontent or uneasiness
is not because you're very avaricious,
but simply because you don't have a solid sense of your purpose in life
without such discontent or uneasiness.
That's why you seek a purpose in life.
You seek a suitable difficulty for your life.
Well, I say all that so convincingly, but as someone who has long since died,
it's a feeling that I can't comprehend at all.
I trace over all the words, but it doesn't strike a chord in my heart at all.
I don't even have a heart.
Though she's completely unaware,
she is an immortal monster, an eternal phoenix.
It transfers from person to person, takes on the person from the person,
and likely nestles up to humanity until humanity perishes.
It's the one and only apparition that has such timelessness.
A phoenix.
I do have a time when I lived as a human, though I don't have any memories of it.
So I have a solid sense of what it means to die and what it means to live.
I know that life is fleeting, and there is nothing in death.
Devilish Big Brother and ex-Kiss-shot both know the difference between life and death.
But what about the phoenix?
I don't want an eternal life.
Even if it was limited, I want to fulfill my life as a human.
Well, that's heroic narcissism,
but how do such lines resonate with those who have eternal life?
How brutally... How insultingly would it resonate?
Un...
limited...
Rulebook.
Thank you. Thanks to you, I was able to defeat the monster.
Ononoki! Behind you!
Tsukihi Araragi's true form is a Shideno-bird,
so bathing in the slug's flames won't really kill her.
But it's not a good thing for her to know her true identity.
I am a corpse, so I'm really weak against fire.
On top of that, my entire body was showered with vegetable oil.
O-Ononoki!
Simply put, you can interpret this as Nadeko Sengoku wanting to add some depth,
and thus applying screentone to the slug then engraving a fire pattern onto it.
Why is her technique so unnecessarily skilled?
Speaking of slug and fire, a means to exterminate it besides sprinkling salt
is scorching it with things like incense.
That's been around since old times.
Or perhaps the "tofu" is the key, so you have grilled tofu or boiled tofu.
In that case, this was the worst compatible apparition for me.
Physical attacks are meaningless,
and unleashes flames from all over its body.
You can even say this was an apparition born none other than defeating an apparition like me.
Thinking how the origin was Kaiki's artificial apparition,
that indeed could be the case.
Nothing strange is going on, but these inconveniences, this miserable condition...
Is this what it means to get involved with Tsukihi Araragi?
But I can't just throw in the towel right now.
My own mismanagement has to be managed by none other than me.
If I'm facing a slug, no matter how gigantic, salt should be effective.
Big Sister would despise such cunning methods.
But my strength is being able to choose the best, optimal method on the fly in times like this.
Look out, Ononoki!
Without thinking of consequences, she went out of control as usual.
It's just like Koyomi Araragi.
Every action Tsukihi Araragi made thinking it was for the best...
Every single one had perfectly backfired.
Rather than a bringer of misfortune,
Tsukihi Araragi herself is like clear-air turbulence?
No, save observations for later.
It's out of hand.
I simply can't snap.
Oh well.
No way to snap out, but oh well.
I made a pragmatic conclusion.
Even in a situation like this, even if stomped into smithereens, Tsukihi Araragi won't die.
Even if fragmented to cause a dust explosion and there's nothing left of her, she won't die.
Because there is no death, she won't die.
She will quietly revive from within the flames.
I didn't have to lose my observation target due to my own mistake.
That was the least I could do for risk management as a professional.
The Slug Tofu running out of control will someday be dealt with
by Ms. Gaen who sensed my incineration.
As a corpse, I won't cause any more trouble in the future.
I have fulfilled my baseline duties as a spy.
That's what I concluded and cleanly gave up.
However, this is nothing more than a calm conclusion, and not my own feelings.
My goodness, if I could laugh, it would be a sneer.
Even a corpse that has died long in the past doesn't want to die,
and can feel scared in a way.
This isn't like you, Ononoki.
Big Sister Mayoi.
Challenge the three-dimensional version all you want, but it's not the main body.
What you need to go after...
is a flat surface.
You're right. Even if it materializes and gigantifies, it all started with a piece of paper.
The fabricated setting that a magical girl of justice was defeating a monster...
I was actually the one trapped in it.
It seems you wanted to conduct everything in secret.
But too bad.
I am a god residing over this town.
I am always watching over it, from one corner to the other.
I also thought I shouldn't get in the way of a professional's work,
but I couldn't overlook the crisis befalling this town, and the crisis of my friend.
And so, even just a little bit, I came to be of assistance.
In other words...
I'm sorry. I got involved.
Big Sister Mayoi promised that she won't talk about this incident to Devil Boy,
and headed back to the mountain.
She also packed the folded up manuscript paper into her backpack.
As a snail god, I guess a slug is something like kin.
Since I've had nothing but failures throughout this whole thing,
I shouldn't nitpick this and that because of a personal grudge.
I analyzed it all later, but a simple failure on my part
would never have evolved into a situation of this caliber.
The more I tried to follow up, the worse the situation got.
And when I think about it,
the instant Tsukihi Araragi's consciousness was trampled and wiped out,
a helper appeared as if out of opportunism and the situation was simply resolved.
For a specialist, this incident alone is enough for the Shideno-bird to be designated as harmful,
and it wouldn't be a surprise
for a squad for suppression and eradication to kick into motion.
It'd be the first one since Kiss-shot Acerola-orion Heart-under-blade in her prime.
A great manhunt target and a phoenix type.
PHOENIX TYPE (OOTORI-MONO)
However, I didn't report to Ms. Gaen as such because of a logical reason.
The new findings I had from this case concerning the Shideno-bird
became the reason I thought otherwise to the much-awaited defeat of the Shideno-bird.
For now, I will take Tsukihi Araragi back to the Araragi household while she's asleep.
And as for me, I took all night to finish embalming the burns all over my body before I returned.
As I pretended to be a doll in the target's room as if nothing had happened,
it seemed that on the next day, Tsukihi Araragi had forgotten everything about yesterday.
As she behaved as she always had, treating me like a life-sized plushie,
I was the one who got confused, thinking that everything from last night was just a dream.
However, the reason for her amnesia was simple.
Psychological stress. What you would call trauma.
Events of the past become aftereffects, engraving themselves deep into the personality's core.
It makes living life difficult.
If that's the case, then, that wound must be healed.
That's right. The Shideno-bird. An eternal apparition.
Phoenix, of all things, can completely heal wounds of the heart.
"Wounds" that would be inconvenient to have to keep living
are eradicated from the brain without a trace.
Such an outlier self-purification action is functioning overwhelmingly,
and Tsukihi Araragi lives today with vigor and spirit.
Vigor and spirit.
That's exactly why Tsukihi Araragi, no matter how much time passes, lacks the ability to learn
and is exhaustively repeating.
No matter how much time passes, she barely manages to fail,
and those failures are deposed only to those around her.
They are deposed, they are accumulated...
And that becomes the new kindling.
A blazing phoenix.
And the core of the flame in question wipes her slate clean of the series of failures,
and flies off from the burnt field without fouling the area around her,
and lives an eternal life from the beginning.
Terrifying.
It's terrifying, but also intriguing.
It's intriguing but also significant.
There is enough academic merit
to give meaning to continue behavioral observation for a while longer.
Incidentally, she forgot all about my failures as well.
I'll accept that as a stroke of luck.
So I decided to hold off from reporting this case to my superiors.
Finally, its inevitable life cycle has come into the light, if only a little bit.
I shall continue my probational observation of the national treasure.
And so, to ensure that I do not make the same blunder again in the future,
I decided to consume my stock of ice cream that the lolicon gave me sooner than later.
I just didn't feel like it, so I made a U-turn while heading to school and came back home, and...
My plushie is eating ice cream!?
The magical girl of justice, part two.
Quite lacking the ability to learn.
Exhaustively repeating.
It's fine. Next time, I won't fail, even in death.
UNHAPPY? A troubled human child
UNLUCKY? For the inhumane
BE HAPPY! Aim timelessly
Because you're alive
A past that you looked away from too
A boring future too
Counseling
Oh man
All the times and places
Peace, peace
UNHAPPY?
UNLUCKY?
BE HAPPY!
UNDEAD
Hey, why
Do I somehow feel like I'm fighting?
I can't touch and don't want to touch
Myself, myself, myself, and myself from the past
I've been dead for a long time now
I fight with a transparent ghost
Deep in a childish and painful memory
Disappointed? It's gone
Oh? You like that better? That's ironic
Am I, as I am now, what's transparent?
Nonsense
A label that doesn't disappear
Yes! It's basically a complex
You seem to be possessed
The old me
That's wrapped up and
Won't leave
UNDEAD
I'm not dead yet
A chain of you and you
To be alive is to keep changing
Don't be satisfied
With unhappiness
You're a coward if you don't try to be happy
This world and this world are
A strange, strange fantasy
Will a demon appear next or will a snake?
The story finally begins after meeting
Is it a human or monster?
Returning to the subject at hand
Peace, peace

Changed text

Open file

# MTBB

Observation report of the Dying Bird known as Araragi Tsukihi, number 2761.
Written by Ononoki Yotsugi.
Which is me. That's right, me.
Yeah! Peace, peace!
It has been roughly six months since I started observing Araragi Tsukihi,
the temporary guise of the immortal oddity "Dying Bird" in this world.
She moves on instinct, thrashes about as she pleases based on the general vibe,
and is dead set on not doing things she doesn't like.
She seems to live by natural instincts, as any natural creature would.
Except no oddity is natural.
Looking back, whenever something happened in this town,
Araragi Tsukihi was involved basically every single time.
She is always in the center of the vortex of chaos.
The Dying Bird is dancing at the center of the vortex of flames.
If an immortal oddity finds itself around the seed of trouble, you can expect it to act as an accelerant.
What does it take to observe the phoenix that is the Dying Bird?
You can't flinch. You can't show mercy.
You can't be mesmerized.
And obviously,
you have to be an abominable, heartless monster
that can terminate its brilliant flight.
Devil Boy, or perhaps Devil Brother.
He has a thing for little girls, so he's kind to me.
This morning, he sneaked me a cup of ice cream as I worked.
He seems to have a misunderstanding.
If you ask me if I have an appetite, my answer is "probably not."
But pretending to be human— by eating then sleeping, for example—
is very important for humanoid oddities like myself.
If I don't pretend to be human,
I lose this humanoid form.
By the way, I moved in with the Araragis this February.
At the time, Araragi Tsukihi shared a room with Araragi Karen, her sister one year her senior.
But in April, when Araragi Karen advanced to high school, she got her own room.
I just wasn't feeling it, so I made a U-turn while heading to school and came back home, and...
My plushie is eating ice cream?!
It's okay. You were imagining it.
No can do. You can't pretend to be a doll after all that.
You were totally moving. You were licking the lid of the ice cream.
You were enjoying it. There's ice cream on your cheek.
The cup of ice cream is dropped right there.
You're still holding a spoon.
Also, don't toss ice cream onto the bed.
There's cream plastered all over the covers now.
M-Maybe the doll was given a soul after Bro poured so much affection into it?
Like Pinocchio?
Come on, respond to me.
It's totally obvious. How long are you going to pretend to be a plushie?
Hiding your identity and secretly freeloading within a family
is simply the worst!
And that's exactly what you're doing.
I can kill off someone like this anytime I want.
However, that "anytime" is not now. More like, it's time to panic.
The fact that Araragi Tsukihi saw through my true identity
means that I was not able to do a good job as a professional.
I wouldn't be disposing of the bird as part of my job.
Rather, I'd be eliminating the observation target just to hide my own failure,
which would be unacceptable as a pro.
Tick-tack-boom!
Ten...
Nine...
Eight...
Seven...
Six...
Five...
Four...
Three...
Two...
Hot!
I-I knew it! My plushie really did move!
I wasn't just imagining it!
What is this? It's super scary!
Oh, so scary! Scary, scary!
Everyone together... Ready?
Scary!
You're even scarier.
What?! So, Ononoki,
you're a magical girl of justice who came to this world from another dimension to defeat monsters?
So you reduced yourself into just a soul to pass between dimensions,
and you needed an object to place your soul into,
and that's why you possessed my doll?!
A-And? What kind of monster did you come to defeat?
Um, I can't really boil it down.
That's fine. You don't have to boil it down. We have all day!
For the first time in my life, I, Tsukihi, will listen to someone's story seriously!
It's an evil hiding in the subconscious that entangles people around it.
That monster will draw disaster towards it by virtue of its mere existence.
Before this town gets embroiled in disaster, I have to settle the score with it.
That sounds terrible.
I'm heading out to battle, then.
Rest assured.
When my mission is complete,
my soul will automatically be summoned back to my original dimension.
This corpse—
I mean, this doll will be returned to your room as good as new.
Well then, please pray for my victory.
For this world and for all the people you love.
Unlimited...
Hold on a second!
Wh-What is it, Tsukihi?
Did you seriously think I could stay put after hearing a story like that?
If there's a horrible monster like that in this world, there's no way I'd leave it be!
I'll help you defeat this monster!
Huh?
Let's fight together!
Huh?
What?
Negative.
I cannot trouble the residents of this world.
This is a job that I need to do alone.
Don't say that you're alone!
This is about my own world, so I have to protect it!
It must be fate that you possessed my doll.
Don't you worry about me, Ononoki!
It's too late! I'm already in the mood for this!
Even if you say you don't want me to, I'll still help you out like it was out of spite!
I'll show you that this world also has heroes of justice!
Though of course, I'm justice itself!
And then, Araragi Tsukihi headed to school once again.
More like, I egged her on to go.
One minute later, I was in Sengoku Nadeko's room in the Sengoku residence.
I came to this world from another dimension to defeat monsters.
I am a magical girl of justice.
And so, if you don't want to be killed like a dog, cooperate with me, Sengoku Nadeko.
N-No, you're definitely not a magical girl or anything, right?
You're some kind of oddity, aren't you?
A-Are you an oil monster or something?
Y-You said "of justice" just now...
Do you have something to do with Tsukihi?
Mhm.
Oh.
That's so like Tsukihi.
All right, I get it. I'll help you out.
I mean, it's to help Tsukihi out.
We're both in the "human turned into oddity" league.
But since I'm irreversibly an oddity now,
I can't help but want to support survivors such as Araragi Koyomi and Sengoku Nadeko.
Though I'll kill them when I have to.
But what should I be doing?
I'm not a snake god anymore, you know.
Is there something I can do to help Tsukihi?
Also, I've been staying inside most of the time lately,
so I don't know how long I'd last in the hot sun outside.
Perhaps you should start going to school again soon?
You don't need to worry. Nobody's really concerned about you.
Yeah.
I heard that recently my old classmates are getting along all right, too.
Tsukihi told me.
Araragi Tsukihi had been investigating that as well?
It seems a bit difficult to investigate internal affairs of a different school.
But, you know...
Now I have things I want to do.
I think this is what I need right now.
Did she grow taller?
Oh, right. A growth spurt.
Because she's alive, she grows. Makes sense.
If this life as a shut-in is letting Sengoku Nadeko grow in a healthy manner,
that, while quite an irony in itself,
would mean there really is no need to force her to go back to school.
It's not worth it if all she gets there is unpleasant memories.
Of course, helping Tsukihi out is one of the things I want to do.
So what should I do?
Oh, yeah.
Indeed, you're no longer the vessel of the snake god.
But a different oddity still resides within you, right?
Is that so?
She's oblivious. That means Brother Kaiki did quite a good job.
Nothing less from a con artist.
A slug.
Huh?
A Slug Tofu.
It's the oddity Kaiki Deishuu used to exorcise the snake god from within you.
I'll put it to use once again.
Give me the residue of that oddity.
I'll pretend that the slug is the monster
and defeat it right in front of Araragi Tsukihi's eyes.
That should fulfill my duties as an actor.
G-Got it.
I-I see. So Kaiki did that...
Is he... in good health?
Healthy as a horse.
To this day, I have never seen that sickly, unlucky man look healthy.
If anything, he's more interested in being wealthy.
How will you extract it?
Would that, you know,
require something like a ritual?
Should I change into a school-issued swimsuit, then?
I'll omit procedures of that nature.
We don't really have that much time.
Y-You can omit them?
I'm not like Brother Oshino.
I'm not too particular about the "how."
I'm down to earth. The type who focuses only on the results.
That said, there are some things that have to be done.
So can you draw me a quick picture here?
A picture?
You're good at drawing pictures, right?
In that case, I'd like you to draw a picture of a slug right here.
A slug is simple and sleek, so it'd be easy, right?
N-No, it's pretty hard, you know?
It's difficult because it's simple and sleek.
Besides, why do I have to draw manga right now with a slug as the protagonist?
That's a bit too avant-garde.
You don't have to draw a whole manga. I just need the character sheet.
A character sheet...
If you can't, I can draw it myself.
But it'd be more effective if you, the object, drew it.
That's the procedure we'll use to take the Slug Tofu left within your body
and copy it over on this manga manuscript paper.
Kind of like how the snake god oddity was sealed away into a paper talisman?
Something like that, I guess.
The exact details concerning that god are kind of a taboo.
Explaining them would be rather complicated.
All right. Then please wait a little bit, Ononoki.
I'll draw it right away.
She's going to start with a rough sketch?
You don't have to worry about the quality.
It's fine if you just give me a quick sketch.
You're using a dip pen and all like a proper manga artist.
Have you already tried entering competitions?
I've tried submitting to a publisher before.
But I haven't had any luck for now.
I've also published anonymously to an online community, too.
But the reception wasn't all that great.
I see. So you own a computer.
Oh, I don't.
Nowadays, you can use game consoles to access the internet, too.
But if I want to fully digitize my work, it's quite an ordeal.
Well, it just means that the world isn't that easy of a place to live in.
Yup, that's true.
Wait, you're going to apply screentone as well?
You know...
I'm very glad that this world is not such an easy place to live in.
Said the girl who had been thoroughly treated with kindness, like a candy apple dipped in caramel.
For the showdown between a magical girl of justice and the slug monster,
I chose the park that everyone is familiar with.
It was nothing special.
I just didn't know any more suitable location.
Ononoki! I'm fully ready to support you!
I'll protect myself, so don't worry about me,
and fight as freely as you want to!
I want to protect myself against you, though.
This whole mess started because of my careless mistake.
But honestly, I'm starting to feel that I don't want to get too involved with this girl.
Did you bring what I asked you to bring?
I did, from our kitchen!
We had some extra stock, so I have two. One for me and one for you.
But what in the world are we going to use salt for?
According to my investigation, the monster is lurking somewhere in this park.
But the monster will react to salt, so can you sprinkle some on conspicuous locations?
I mean, it's a slug, after all.
It will react to salt.
Anyway, I'll make my rounds starting from over at the swings.
As for you...
Try it out from around the sandbox.
Gotcha!
To sprinkle salt onto a sandbox... I kind of feel like a sumo wrestler!
So the reason why I sent Araragi Tsukihi towards the sandbox is because
I had buried Sengoku Nadeko's slug illustration in that sandbox during the afternoon.
We're speeding up the plot development a bit,
but I need her to quickly find the "monster from another dimension."
Naturally, I don't intend on having an amateur participate in defeating an oddity.
But if she witnesses a monster appear from the sand because of the salt she sprinkled,
that alone should be enough to feel like she is participating.
And then I just need to blow away the Slug Tofu before Araragi Tsukihi does something unnecessary.
Afterwards, the soul of the magical girl of justice will return to the alternate dimension,
and Araragi Tsukihi will be left with one silent plushie that she already had to begin with.
This is a pretty good story for being spur-of-the-moment.
This is the moment when I unexpectedly and finally realized the meaning
behind Sengoku Nadeko's earlier words.
I'm very glad that this world is not such an easy place to live in.
I'd say that the root of that statement
is the purpose of one's life, so to speak.
An entitled life where everything goes your way
would make you lose sight of whether you're alive or simply dreaming.
No matter how fortunate your life is,
living with complaints and harboring discontent or unease
is not because you're particularly avaricious,
but simply because you don't have a solid sense of your purpose in life without such discontent or unease.
That's why you seek a purpose in life.
You seek a suitable difficulty for your life.
Well, I say all that so convincingly, but as someone who is long dead,
it's a feeling that I can't comprehend at all.
I trace over all the words, but it doesn't strike a chord in my heart at all.
I don't even have a heart.
Though she's completely unaware,
she is an immortal monster, an eternal phoenix.
It transfers from person to person, takes on the person from the person,
and will likely nestle up to humanity until humanity perishes.
It's the one and only oddity that has such timelessness.
A phoenix.
I do have a time when I lived as a human, though I don't have any memories of it.
So I have a solid sense of what it means to die and what it means to live.
I know that life is fleeting, and there is nothing in death.
Devil Boy and the former Kiss-shot both know the difference between life and death.
But what about the phoenix?
I don't want an eternal life.
Even if it was fleeting, I'd still want to live my life to the fullest.
Well, that's heroic narcissism,
but how do such lines resonate with those who have eternal life?
How brutally... How insultingly would it resonate?
Un
limited
Rulebook.
Thank you. Thanks to you, I was able to defeat the monster.
Ononoki! Behind you!
Araragi Tsukihi's true form is a Dying Bird,
so bathing in the slug's flames won't ever kill her.
But it's not a good thing for her to know her true identity.
I am a corpse, so I'm really weak against fire.
On top of that, my entire body was showered with vegetable oil.
O-Ononoki!
Did Sengoku Nadeko cause this by engraving a fire pattern
when she applied screentone to add some depth?
Why is she so unnecessarily skilled?
Or another possible connotation of slugs and fire is that a way to kill them
is scorching them with things like incense rather than using salt.
That's an old, tried and tested method.
Or perhaps the "tofu" is the key. You can have grilled tofu or boiled tofu.
In that case, this is the worst possible oddity for me to deal with.
Physical attacks are meaningless,
and it unleashes flames from all over its body.
You can even say this was an oddity born with the sole purpose of defeating an oddity like me.
Considering how it used to be one of Kaiki's fake oddities,
that indeed could be the case.
Nothing outright strange happened, but these inconveniences, this miserable condition...
Is this what it means to get involved with Araragi Tsukihi?
But I can't just throw in the towel right now.
My own mismanagement has to be managed by none other than me.
If I'm facing a slug, no matter how gigantic, salt should be effective.
My sister would despise such cunning methods.
But my strength is being able to choose the best, optimal method on the fly in times like this.
Look out, Ononoki!
Without thinking of the consequences, she went out of control as usual.
It's just like Araragi Koyomi.
Every action Araragi Tsukihi made thinking it was for the best...
Every single one had perfectly backfired.
Rather than a bringer of misfortune,
perhaps Araragi Tsukihi herself is like clear-air turbulence?
No, save observations for later.
This has gotten out of hand.
My finger can't solve this.
Oh well.
No way to snap out of it, but oh well.
Here's my pragmatic conclusion:
Even in a situation like this, even if stomped into smithereens, Araragi Tsukihi won't die.
Even if so fragmented to cause a dust explosion and there's nothing left of her, she won't die.
Because there is no death, she won't die.
She will quietly revive from within the flames.
I won't lose my observation target due to my own mistake.
That's the least I can do for risk management as a professional.
The Slug Tofu running out of control will someday be dealt with by Gaen,
who will have sensed my incineration.
As a corpse, I won't cause any more trouble in the future.
I have fulfilled my baseline duties as a spy.
That's what I concluded and cleanly gave up.
However, this is nothing more than a calm conclusion, and not my own feelings.
My goodness, if I could laugh, it would be a sneer.
Why would a corpse that has already died long ago feel it doesn't want to die
or feel so very scared?
This isn't like you, Ononoki.
Sister Mayoi.
Challenge the three-dimensional version all you want, but it's not the main body.
What you need to go after
is a flat surface.
That's right. Even if it materializes and gigantifies, it all started with a piece of paper.
The fabricated setting that a magical girl of justice was defeating a monster...
I was actually the one trapped in it.
It seems you wanted to conduct everything in secret.
But too bad.
I am the god presiding over this town.
I am always watching over it, every single nook and cranny.
I did think that I shouldn't get in the way of a professional's work,
but I couldn't overlook the crisis befalling this town, and the crisis of my friend.
And so, even just a little bit, I came to be of assistance.
In other words...
I'm sorry. I took a bit of the fun.
Sister Mayoi promised that she wouldn't talk about this incident to Devil Boy
and headed back to the mountain.
She also packed the folded up paper into her backpack.
As a snail god, I guess a slug is something like kin to her.
I've had nothing but failures throughout this whole thing.
I shouldn't nitpick her actions because of a personal grudge.
Looking back, no matter how you slice it,
a simple failure on my part should never have evolved into a situation of this caliber.
The more I tried to patch things up, the worse the situation got.
And when I thought about it,
the instant Araragi Tsukihi's consciousness was trampled and wiped out,
a helper appeared almost deus ex machina, and the situation was instantly resolved.
For a specialist, this incident alone would be grounds to designate the Dying Bird as harmful,
and it wouldn't be odd for a suppression and eradication squad to kick into motion.
It'd be the first one since Kiss-shot Acerola-orion Heart-under-blade in her prime.
This phoenix might be a jailbird soon.
However, I had a perfectly rational reason why I didn't report all this to Gaen.
The new findings I had concerning the Dying Bird's case
became the reason I was having second thoughts about the Dying Bird's much-anticipated exorcism.
For the moment, I took Araragi Tsukihi back to the Araragi household while she was asleep.
And as for me, I spent all night embalming the burns all over my body before I returned.
As I pretended to be a doll in the target's room as if nothing had happened,
the next day it became apparent that Araragi Tsukihi had forgotten everything from the previous 24 hours.
As she behaved as she always had, treating me like a life-sized plushie,
I was the one who got confused, thinking that everything from last night was just a dream.
However, the reason for her amnesia was simple.
Psychological stress. What you would call trauma.
Events of the past become aftereffects, engraved deep into the personality's core.
It makes living life difficult.
If that's the case, then, that wound must be healed.
That's right. The Dying Bird. An undying oddity.
The phoenix, of all things, can apparently completely heal wounds of the heart.
"Wounds" that would make living inconvenient
are eradicated from the brain without a trace.
This outrageous self-purification process has successfully pushed all the nasty stuff out,
and Araragi Tsukihi lives today with vigor and spirit.
Vigor and spirit.
That's exactly why Araragi Tsukihi, no matter how much time passes, lacks the ability to learn
and keeps repeating her mistakes.
No matter how much time passes, she always manages to fail,
and those failures are dispensed only to those around her.
They are dispensed, they are accumulated...
And that becomes the new kindling
for a blazing phoenix.
And the core of the flame in question wipes her slate clean of the series of failures,
flies off from the burnt field without fouling the area around her,
and lives an eternal life from the beginning.
Terrifying.
It's terrifying, and also intriguing.
It's intriguing, and also significant.
There is enough academic merit to give meaning to continued behavioral observation for a while longer.
Incidentally, she forgot all about my failures as well.
I'll accept that as a stroke of luck.
So I decided to hold off from reporting this case to my superiors.
Finally, its unstoppable life cycle had come into the light, if only a little bit.
I resolved to continue my observation of this unique specimen.
And so, to ensure that I did not make the same blunder again in the future,
I decided to consume my stock of ice cream—the fruit of a certain someone's love for little girls—sooner than later.
I just wasn't feeling it, so I made a U-turn while heading to school and came back home, and...
My plushie is eating ice cream?!
The magical girl of justice, part two.
Lacks the ability to learn.
Keeps repeating her mistakes.
It's fine. Next time, I won't fail, even in death.

UNHAPPY? A troubled human child
UNLUCKY? For the inhumane
BE HAPPY! Aim timelessly
Because you're alive
The past you tried to forget
And that boring future too
Counseling
Oh man
Anytime anywhere, peace, peace
UNHAPPY?
UNLUCKY?
BE HAPPY!
UNDEAD
Hey, hey,
Why do I somehow feel like I'm fighting?
I can't reach I don't even want to reach
Myself, myself, myself, and myself from the past
I've been dead for a long time now
I fight with a transparent ghost
Deep in a childish and painful memory
Disappointed? It's gone
Oh? You like that better? That's ironic
Am I, as I am now, what's transparent?
Nonsense
A label that doesn't disappear
Yes! It's basically a complex
You seem to be possessed
The old me
That's wrapped up and
Won't leave
UNDEAD
I'm not dead yet
A chain of you and you
To be alive is to keep changing
Don't be satisfied
With unhappiness
You're a coward if you don't try to be happy
This world and this world are
A strange, strange fantasy
Will a demon appear next or will a snake?
The story finally begins after meeting
Is it a human or monster?
Whoops I digress, peace, peace

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Total words	4126
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